Get Off My Lawn Fitness

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if you answered "Yes!" "Totally!" or "Fer Sure, Dude!" to any of these Questions, Get Off My Lawn's®

Gen-X-Tra Special Fitness Training® is for you!

Check Out Our Plans & Packages!

ABOUT GET OFF MY LAWN

Mike's training space is in a safe, private, welcoming location free of "icky gym vibes" and shitty music, convenient to drive to and to public transportation between Porter Square and Davis Square, within easy reach of Boston, Cambridge, Somerville, and Medford. Virtual training sessions via Zoom are also available. Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals of all genders and body types are welcome!

To set up an initial consultation and get a SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY RATE, e-mail Mike@GetOffMyLawn.Biz or use the CONTACT FORM and enter "I Crush Your Head!" "Truly, Truly Outrageous!" "I Pity the Fool!" "Isn't That Special?" or the Gen-X catchphrase of your choice either in the subject line, or as your Salutation! The better the subject line or Salutation, the deeper the discount!

Your instructor: Michael Marano

Mike's Get Off My Lawn Fitness Instruction is a fun, welcoming, client-centered option for people who, like Mike, love fitness, are dedicated to fitness, want to pursue fitness, but hate the fitness industry. As the company name hints, our main (but not only) focus is to address the needs of folks of a certain... ahem... vintage.

The environment Mike fosters is proudly LGBTQIA+ friendly and is welcome to all (except Yankees fans, in which case, don't let the door hit you on the way out).

As a life-long fitness buff, former varsity athlete and recreational circus aerialist, Mike's uniquely suited to provide this service. He's a proud Gen-X cultural critic and author who cut his teeth in the glory days of "Left of the Dial" 1980s college radio, and he's a personal trainer with certifications in:

* General Personal Training from the American Council on Exercise

* Creating Specialized Fitness Programs for Older Adults

* Applying the Brain Health Trainer Program to Design Regimens that

Offset Neurodegenerative Issues

* Planning Group Exercises for Older Clientele

Book a Session With Mike

Gettin’ Fit for the Pit – a punk-themed program to improve muscle and bone density for moshing.
Goths, Not Sloths – proprioception (body awareness), motion, and balance training for cultivating awesome Darkwave Dance Moves.
Test Your Mettle with Metal – posture correction for better head banging and windmills.
Grunge 'n Lunge – ways to use your own body weight, resistance bands and low-level weightlifting to correct the "Seattle Slump" you get sitting at a desk all day.
Joi! For Your Joi!nts – an Oi!-themed strengthening and stretching sequence to preserve your joints, especially for people who do physical labor, but open to everyone getting a little creaky as they move.
Two-Tone Tune-Up! – muscle toning, footwork, and isometric strengthening so you can bounce and skank!
New Wave, New You! – restorative programs that'll give you that burst of pep you need when your fave synth-pop hits urge you to dance!
Be a God With Your Dad Bod! – beefing up and strengthening strategies for dudes of Dad age.
Mom's Da Bomb! – toning and core training for folks who’ve had kids, and women of Mom age.
Emo-BILITY! – Mike’s Emo Mobility Drills will help you regain flexibility, protect your joints, rebuild your spine and break down scar tissue so you can brood (physically) pain-free!